Yellow handled bacon stretcher.

I'll never forget the time I was sent on a task to find a yellow handled bacon stretcher.

I was at Camp Rotary with Boy Scout Troop 57, and I must have been about 11 years old. A friend of mine in the troop, John, was determined to help out with cooking breakfast. I figured I would follow along and see how I could help, too.

The scout leader who was working on breakfast sent us on a mission - he needed a yellow handled bacon stretcher to successfully cook breakfast. For an 11 year old, this seemed like a reasonable utensil - you need to cook bacon, and you like your bacon to be flat and crispy. This means you would need to stretch it, right? The yellow handle should have given away the ridiculous nature of the task, but it was over our heads and we set off on our adventure.

We must have asked the scout leaders of a half dozen troops with no success. We returned empty handed. Everyone gave us a little chuckle, but replied with, 'no i don't think I have one of those for you to use.'

It took me another few years for the adventure to pop into my mind and for me to actually 'get it' - it was a pointless task meant to keep us out of the guy's way. What it did do is teach me to make sure I know and understand what it is people ask me to do.

But if only there really was such a thing as a bacon stretcher. That would be pretty useful. So would a left-handed smoke shifter.